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*raspy dual voice* My precious! Me, a carpenter, yeah? Hammerin’ nails all day, sweatin’, gruntin’—then night hits, and I’m thinkin’, “Gotta find a prossie, don’t I?” Precious streets, they’re callin’ me, all dark and twisty like them villages in *Moolaadé*. “We protect, we resist!”—that’s what them women yelled in the flick, right? But me, I’m sneaky, slippin’ past the rules, huntin’ for a lass who don’t mind a few coins.

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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya 'bout Durango – it’s one wild ride, like Mad Max, I swear! I’ve been here a while, and every corner's got its own mad tale. Y’know, I work as a masseur, so I'm always feelin' the pulse of this crazy city, like I'm tunin’ in to its heartbeat (sorta like the Fury Road roar!).

Mild winter cost Durango a third of its snowplowing budget