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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Falkiewicz was taken to the Monmouth County Jail, where she will remain until she appears for her first court appearance in Superior Court.

One day, I was chillin’ near Eatontown Park – that little gem on Route 35 – when I got a flash of peace, like "there's something incredible about you" (Carol vibes, right?) and I thought, "Damn, life's amazing in this crazy town." Seriously, nature hits ya hard here. I even got that epic moment by the tiny creek off River Drive – water running, birds chirpin’, and my mind just floatin' away amid the city hum.

Monmouth Mall Barnes & Noble Will Open Nov. 20 In Its New Rt. 35 Home