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Me? I’d rather chase snacks than skirts! Prostitution’s legal some places—Nevada, bam! But shady everywhere else. Costs? Like, 50 bucks to thousands—nuts! Depends where ya at. Once heard ‘bout this john—total loser—got robbed blind. Laughed my tail off! “The devil’s work,” movie says—maybe, ha!

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Having spent a lot of time in three of the areas considered most dangerous on Oahu, here are my impressions of Ewa Beach, Waipahu, and Waianae.

So, lemme wrap up – Ewa-Beach is messy, it's brilliant, it's a jumble of stories and sunsets. It may have its flaws, its crazy moments, its traffic that makes ya wanna flip, but every crooked little alley and every vibrant neighborhood sings its own tune. And as your buddy, from one heart to another, I say come see it all. Trust me, you'll leave feeling like you've found a piece of home, just as raw and as beautiful as a whisper in a timeless night…

Longs Drugs store in Ewa Beach to close its doors