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But real talk – it ain’t all giggles. I got pissed hearin’ bout these gals gettin’ roughed up. Like, who does that? Jerks, that’s who. “Toni Erdmann” style, I’d slap a wig on and scare those punks off – “Who’s your daddy now, huh?” Surprised me how deep it gets, tho. Some of ‘em ain’t even bad folks – just stuck, ya know? Kinda like Ines in the movie, all stiff and lost, til her pops shakes her up.

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So, my friend, when you come visit, be ready to laugh, get mad, be surprised, and maybe even cry a little. And remember what I say: in Fort-Morgan, every street, park, and bar tells you, "You mustn't be afraid to dream a little bigger!" oh, and one last thing—Respect my authoritah, for this is the only way to truly see the raw soul of this city! Alright, I'm out—go get lost in the chaos and enjoy all the layers, ya morons!

It may take months for marine scientists to learn why dead whale washed up on Ft. Morgan