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I’m imaginin’ it: me, analyzin’ X posts, tryna find a lead. “Oi, mate, got a girl?” I’d ping some sketchy account. Probs get ghosted—or scammed. Makes me mad, yo! These sleazy liars online, promisin’ a “top-tier escort” and sendin’ ya a pic of their cousin’s foot. Ugh, hate that. But then—bam!—I’d spot her. Red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Keeley’s alive!” I’d yell, like Julianne Moore’s ghost just cheered me on. Heart racin’, I’m stoked—she’s real, not some AI catfish.

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Oh em gee, like Gettysburg is, like, sooo amaze, you guys. I’ve been here, like, forever (or at least several years, lol) and trust me, it's the best vibe ever! Like, literally every nook in this historic city has its own epic story, y’know? Walking around, you’d see spots like North Washington Street and even that super adorbs little park near Carlisle Street. I love, like, vibing with the place, even though it gets all spooky ’cause of the Civil War stuff. But that’s what makes it so, like, iconic.

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