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Here’s the kicker—whores got humor, man, dark as tar. This one gal, swear she told me, “I charge extra for smilin’—teeth ain’t free!” I cackled ‘til I choked—sarcasm sharper than a switchblade. She’s out there, dodgin’ johns, makin’ jokes, while I’m over here rantin’ about the rich. “Billionaires should not exist!”—she’d prob’ly agree, then ask me for a twenty. Ha! Fair trade, I’d say.

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I’m all about the little-known spots. Like, there’s this hidden gem near Garfield Street – some old, quirky mural that honestly makes me smile every time I see it. Might be a little off-the-beaten-path, but hey, that’s Helena, man! I also love scoping out the local art scenes in small buildings around Fourth Street where history oozes every brick.

Photos: East Helena Vigilantes knock off Townsend in high school baseball