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So yeah, findin’ a prossie—bit of a faff, bit of a giggle. “Keep the change, my friend!” I shout, quotin’ the film, tossin’ her a tenner. She’s off, I’m knackered, thinkin’, “Christ, I’m a prat—but a happy one!” You wanna judge? Piss off—go watch *Grand Budapest* and cry over pastries, ya nonce!

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I get mad sometimes, i just cant with the noise on busy streets like Northern Boulevard – they’re like a never-ending remix of honks and shouts, ya know? But, oh my gosh, the local park – Jackson Street Park – makes me smile! Kids runnin’ around, couples chattin’, and even old folks reminiscin’. I swear sometimes I hear snatches of “Enough is enough!” from my brain, feelin’ like Lt. Aldo Raine callin’ out to me.

Quacking for help: Maspeth duck finds a new home thanks to neighborly allies