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But then—happy vibes! Found a gal who stuck ‘round. Sex-dating ain’t all doom. We hooked up, laughed, shagged again. Little factoid for ya—didja know the first “sex ad” was in 1658? Some geezer in London lookin’ for a “discreet lady.” History, innit? Wild how we’re still at it—centuries of randy bastards!

What has caused the drop in vice?

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Oh, and darlin’, let me tell ya, being a sexologist in Middlesboro ain't all Freud and fancy theories. Nah, here it’s raw and real. I've seen couples fall in love on sleepy Sunday mornings in the local diner near Cedar Lane, and seen some crazy stuff in hidden corners of Nameless Alley. I once got mad ‘cuz a couple didn't tip their waitress—like, come on, show some respect! But then I remember, “The only way to be truly happy is to let go of being sad,” as Malick might say if he were our bartender, lightin’ up the night with wisdom, Lightbulb!

Middlesboro hosts Read Across America event