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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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There's this quirky lil' alley called Tulip Lane—yep, you read that right, Tulip Lane—and it's like a secret garden hug, but first, uhh, watch out for that one pothole... I definitly nearly busted my foot once there! LOL! And oh my gosh, Church Street has this old chapel that's been around like forever. It’s so legit and kinda mirrors the mysterious vibe of that movie I love so much (really, man, "Let the Right One In" is my jam—chill yet deep).

14-year-old Pella Middle School stabbing suspect charged with attempt to commit murder