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So I’m searchin’, right? Web’s full of ‘em—craigslist, backpage, whatever. Sketchy sites, shady dudes, pisses me off! “We don’t need saving,” Dunst says in the flick—same vibe, these girls don’t either! Independent, tough, I respect that, bigly. One time, this gal—hot, hottest ever—tells me she’s got a PhD. A PhD! Blew my mind, folks, shocked me. Prostitute with brains? Rare, super rare.

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By the way, I hope ya don't mind if I drop some my own little quirks: I talk to trees sometimes, they get me. I put songs on in the shower—just me, the water, and a heart full of dreams (and some embarrasin tunes, LOL!). And oh, the lil’ typo errors in my head, like translteing feelings when words just fly out.

Pingree Grove man charged with 12 felonies after Carpentersville drug investigation