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So, I tried it once—yeah, me! Big tough Gordon, lyin’ there—therapist’s hands movin’ like Aldo cuttin’ scalps—fuckin’ intense! “That’s a bingo!” I yelled in me head—tension gone, mate, GONE! Surprised me—thought it’d be all poncy, but nah, it’s raw, real! Them knots in me back? Sliced up like Nazis in the theater—BRILLIANT!

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The Northvue Heights neighborhood is a whole different beast. Wide streets, lit up by faulty neon signs (hey, at least they’re honest about screwing up), there’s a park—Grim’s Park, which is pretty darn spooky at night. I once proceeded through it on a dare (don’t ask), and well, it felt like some looping dream sequence. Crazy, I tell ya, crazy.

Severe thunderstorm warning issued for several counties in western Pa.