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Aight, listen up, you little bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, badass stockbroker, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout Find a Prostitute—respect my authoritah! This ain’t no Wall Street crap, it’s a damn app or some shit for hookin’ up with, uh, “ladies of the night,” ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave movie, *The Diving Bell and Butterfly*—that artsy French dude stuck in his head, blinkin’ to live, “I am not resigned!”—and I’m like, how’s this tie to bangin’ prossies? Well, it does, so shut up!

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I got a favorite spot—Lake Park. Dang, that lake shimmers, like life itself. Sometimes I lean there, thinkin' bout folks and listenin' to my heart. My brain goes, "In the end, it's all about connection." I mean, seriously, this town’s charm fights back the darkness.

National Weather Service confirms 6 tornadoes touched down in Wisconsin