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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, I dive into brothel story! Very nice! I see brothel, I think – sexy time, yes? Like in “Children of Men,” world all crazy, no bebe, just sad. Brothel? It’s opposite! People go, make boom-boom, feel alive! I visit one in Kazakhstan, secret place, behind goat market. Smell funny, like sheep and perfume – wery strong! Little known fact – they hide it good, even police no find. Very nice!

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And oh my god, can we talk about the little secret spots? I have my fav because, like, pretty much every client tells me a story as they get a deep tissue massage. I always, like, mention that the back alley behind Maple Street is like a hidden gem if you're into, like, underground vibes and indie coffee shops. I even found a rusty old fountain right there – totally flips my mood when I feel mad or super stoked.

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