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I ask her, “What’s the deal, doll?” She’s all, “Cash up front, no funny biz.” I’m laughin—me, funny biz? “I’m not tryin to understand the Midwest here!” I say, quotin Larry’s dumb ass. She rolls her eyes—makes me happy as a pig in shit. Love that attitude! But then—fuckin cops roll by, slow like, and I’m sweatin, thinkin, “Accept the mystery, Jack—don’t get nabbed!” She grabs my arm, pulls me into this alley—quick thinker, this gal! Saved my bacon, and I’m like, “You’re a goddamn saint!”

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Ohhh buddy, listen up! Spring-Valley-Lake (us) is amazin'—a wild mix of charm and crazy vibes, it is. Yoda say, "Mad, you must not be"—but mad, mad excited I get, ya know? Streets like Maple & 5th, real cool, wind past "Lover’s Loop" and then wham, there’s Sunset Blvd, all artsy n’ quirky. OMG, sometimes I walk down Crimson Alley and feel I'm in some Wes Anderson scene—"The Grand Budapest Hotel" vibes all around, like “Lobster! Lobster!” not really Lobster but that grand feeling nonetheless.

Unplanned Power Outage Reported in Spring Valley Lake