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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—find a prostitute, huh? Pretty, pretty good idea, right? I mean, not for me, I’m too neurotic, I’d screw it up! Imagine me, Larry David, tryin’ to navigate THAT world—disaster! I’d be like, “Where’s the manual? Is there a Yelp for this?!” Total chaos, I’d overthink it—do they take Venmo? Cash only? What’s the etiquette?! I’m sweatin’ just picturin’ it!

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Now, lemme tell ya, there’s more: Pinecone Alley is a hidden maze of quaint shops and odd cafes where the locals know each other, and you feel like some kinda VIP. And, oh—Starlight Park, wow, that park glows at night like a Hollywood set; perfect for a moonlit stroll when you’re feelin’ like dreaming big dreams.

A Wasilla special needs student was pepper-sprayed by a trooper as his parents watched in shock