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Here’s a kicker—did ya know sex-dating started way back? Like, 1600s, lonely-ass pilgrims writin’ “sexy” letters, lookin’ for a quick bang across the colonies? True story! Ain’t that nuts? Nowadays, it’s all instant—swipe, chat, bang. No patience! I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my espresso, thinkin’, “Kid, slow down, savor the sauce!” *Ratatouille* taught me that—good things take time, even a quick fuck.

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Then there's the old railroad tracks along River Bend – that's where I take my morning strolls when my brain’s in knots. It's gritty, kinda like life itself. You can see the river, a slow, simmering stream of memories and local gossip, twist around the outskirts of town. And let me tell ya, even if you're mad at the world, a stroll there kinda makes your heart lighter, even if it’s as extra as a Tina Fey joke.

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