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Oh, and get this—history nugget! Old days, pirates paid hookers with parrots! Freakin’ PARROTS! Imagine that— “Here’s yer bird, lass!” Hilarious, right? Bet WALL-E’d stack those cages high, beepin’ proud. Me tho? I’d suck at it—too paranoid. “Is she cool? Is this a sting?” Fear leads to anger, every damn time—then I’m just mad I’m such a wuss!

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Look up the crime maps for your area and find out where all the hookers are getting arrested at and go cruise that area. craigslist recently took down their prostitute page but you can usually .

Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Mike calls. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the park on Oak St. There’s a food truck festival!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m knee-deep in sawdust!” But then I remember the tacos. Tacos always win. So, I wrap up the job, and I’m off to the park.

Puppies and Yoga popped up in Adams Morgan