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About Dallas

So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

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To give you an idea of how bad it is, my marching band plays there next week and we always get police escort in and out of the town.

I’ve seen, like, everything from unexpected acts of kindness to moments that mad me off. One time, a client walked in, all stressed from work, and left giggling like she was in a rom-com. I was OVER THE MOON! I mean, that's just the magic here, babe—it’s raw, real, and full of unexpected twists. And yeah, sometimes I, like, get super frustrated with the outdated bureaucratic stuff and clueless tourists who don’t get our vibe. But hey, that’s life, right?

Without its leading scorer, Aliquippa falls in PIAA semifinals to South Allegheny