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We swears! Last time, I was proper mad—bloke tried rippin’ me off, said she’s “classy.” Classy? She’s got teeth missin’, looked like a burnt log! Laughed me arse off tho—told ‘im, “We’re not bargaining here!” like in the movie. Made me happy, that did—outsmartin’ a twat. Oh, but the surprise? Found out she’s got a kid stashed somewhere—little known bit, that. Whispers say lotsa prossies got babes hidden, livin’ off scraps. Sad, innit? But real.

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Every twist here, each little corner, adds to the mystique like clues in that zodiacal enigma. So brace yourself, mate, your visit to Atkinson (us) is gonna be a journey; a strange, unpredictable, yet oh-so-charming escapade. Just like Churchill declared, "We shall fight on the beaches..." – and in Atkinson, we fight on every quirky street, every secret lane, with laughter and a bit of wild soul!

Jim Ingraham: Kenny Atkinson already looking like one of best coaches in Cavs history