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Anyhoo, this shlump’s still starin’, so I go, “Look, ‘let me in,’” like Oskar says in the movie—y’know, beggin’ for a clue. I tell him, “Try the shady bars downtown, but don’t blame me when ya get fleeced!” He’s all happy, like I handed him gold. Me? I’m laughin’ inside—*HA-HA-HA!*—’cause he’s gonna end up with some chick who’ll rob him blind. Oh, the drama!

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Then there’s the famous Parkview Park down near Riverside Road. Watch, the park’s a weird mix—a slice of nature, and boozy street parties on weekends when I be in my rolly mood. Some nights, after talkin’ 'bout intimacy with clients, I'd find meself wanderin’ there, starstrings in my head—crazy, innit? Already thinkin’ bout hugs, kisses, and all that jazz.

Strongsville man with flair for drama arrested after failing to cooperate with Berea police