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Anyway, I saunter over, all smooth-like. “Ciao, bella,” I say, channelin’ Jep’s charm. She’s nervous, hands shaky—makes me feel a bit sad, ya know? “This city’s a graveyard,” I think, quotin’ *The Great Beauty* in my head. She’s quotin’ a price, 50 euros, cheap as chips. I’m like, “Love, you’re worth more,” but she don’t get it. Makes me mad—pimps grindin’ her down, fuckin’ bastards. I wanna punch somethin’, but I’m Bond, so I smirk instead.

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Hiting local spots in a hurry, you might also see a small gem called Zen Den on Oak. Not mainstream, and that's the charm. The vibes there? Unbelievble, utterly honest. It speaks to that inner connection between heart and body.

Louis ‘Louie’ Cerda of Carpinteria, 1947-2025