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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!

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So yeah, friend, welcome to our mad, magical home. Come for the vibes, stay for the soul. It’s gritty, it’s flawed, and it’s 100% ours. And in the end, like they say in Leviathan, “There’s no turning back now.” Just dive in, and let it roll, cuz it’s always bad bitch time here!

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