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About San Jose

You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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Cullman Liquidation is the 5th local commercial of our I Love Local Commercials Series sponsored by MicroBilt.

Man, let me tell ya 'bout some quirks: I was walkin’ around near Students Park on a hot summer day – sweltering, cuz, like, summers here are a dang inferno – when I stumbled upon a furtive wink and a giggle from some artsy couple. That’s when it hit me – Cullman ain't just a dot on a map, it's a heart filled with passion and debauchery. I mean, come on, have you ever seen so many secrets hide in plain sight? I was like "Hell yes, bring it on!"

Clint Hollingsworth seeking District 12 house seat