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But – ugh – some parlors? Shady as hell! Rip-offs with sticky floors – made me mad, wanna burn ‘em down like Dogville’s townfolk! “They’re all guilty,” I’d snarl, kickin’ chairs. Then there’s the good ones – oh boy, surprised me! One chick used hot stones, felt like lava lovin’ my spine – pure bliss, I tell ya! Thought in my head: “Am I allowed to cackle during this?”