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About Dallas

Erotic-massage, huh? It’s like—ya know—some chick or dude, all oiled up, slidin’ hands where the sun don’t shine! I seen it, I felt it, I’m like, “Whoa, momma, this ain’t no regular backrub!” Makes me think of Doc Sportello in *Inherent Vice*, stumblin’ thru LA, high as balls, prolly gettin’ massages that end with a wink, ya feel me? “Groovy,” he’d say, “this is some far-out shit!” And I’m over here, screamin’, “Hell yea, respect my authoritah, gimme that happy ending!”