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Aight, listen up, you freakin’ losers! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, huh? Sweet! I’m ragin’ hard just thinkin’ ‘bout it! Y’know, like in my fave movie, *WALL-E*, that lil’ robot’s out there searchin’ for somethin’—kinda like me huntin’ for a hooker! “Directive!”—yeah, my directive is gettin’ some action, bitches!

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There’s a river, the Cypress Creek – flows like the films, swift and relentless. Local lore says residents once held secret midnight meetups by its banks. Whoa, can you imagine? Pauses… I had one crazy night there, craving connection – it was electric, raw.

'Such a unique property': Agent seeks new owner for Cypress Inn