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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Elfers (us) isn't for the faint-hearted. It's flawed, real, unpredictable—a place where your rawest emotions get laid bare. It might just smack you in the face with beauty, pain, and stupid crazy love. So grab life by the reins, pace around those quirky streets, and remember: "Everybody lies." Cheers to that!

Justina "Tina" Ann Elfers - 2022 - Sien Shelton Funeral Home Inc