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About Philadelphia

So, what’s it bout? Some chick or dude—prolly named Chad—rubs ya with lotion, gets all up in your grill, tryna “release tension.” Tension? I release that punchin’ trees. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, they had these baths, right? Rich jerks gettin’ oiled up by slaves, erotic as hell, but nobody talks bout the awkwardness. Prolly smelled like olives and regret. Makes me mad—why’s everyone so soft now? Can’t just chop wood and call it a day?