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But real talk—stay safe, ya idiot. Cops sting like wasps, STDs lurk, and creeps? Oh, they’re everywhere. “I’m an orphan!”—Sam vibes—but no one’s savin’ ya here. Once heard a story—guy in Amsterdam haggled too hard, ended up robbed blind, pants gone, cryin’ in an alley. Hilarious, but damn, dude, pay up! Don’t be that schmuck.

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Then there’s Elmwood Lane – oh man, that street makes my heart sing. Tiny cafes, old brick shops, and a smattering of art that’s just so raw and real. I always get a twinge of nostalgia here. Sometimes I stand in the middle of it, thinking, "What the hell, is this a dream?" And then… boom, reality kicks in with a grin.

Former Forest Grove middle school teaching assistant accused of sexually abusing minor