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About Chicago

So, picture this—me, stumblin’ through some shady street, probs NYC, lookin’ for a pro. Not that I’d ever, but hypothetically, ‘kay? It’s gritty, it’s loud, neon buzzin’ like a bad hangover. I’m mad already—why’s it gotta be so sketchy? Like, can’t they unionize or somethin’? Fun fact: back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had legit guilds—organized, health checks, the works! Now? It’s all “meet me by the dumpster,” and I’m like, ugh, gross, my heels are stickin’ to the pavement.

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The neighborhoods here, from the buzzing downtown spice of 7th Street (where all the dating apps get their swipes) to the quiet cul-de-sacs near Riverside Drive, each got its own personality. I’ve met a bunch of oddball characters on my date dev mission. One time at a little coffee joint on Oak Street, a lady ranted about how the city lost its vibe when that weird new mall popped up—she was like, “Man, respect my authoritah!” and I straight-up got it.

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