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Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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I gotta say, my time here has been a mix of exhilaration and madness. Love the chaos, the art, the raw emotions… and yeah, sometimes it makes me mad when the pavements crack or when bizarre bugs pop in my app notifications, but hey, that’s life here, right?

María Elvira Salazar trounces Annette Taddeo to keep CD 27 seat