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But then—ugh—I get mad, ‘cause the legal crap? Total buzzkill! Some states, ya can’t even sneeze without a cop naggin’. I’m like, “Leave my app alone, ya schmucks!” *HahahaHA!*—I’m laughin’, but I’m pissed! Oh, and the design? Sleek, sexy—like Fassbender’s suits in *Shame*. “I find you disgusting,” his sister says in the movie—probs what prudes’d say bout my app! I’m like, whatevs, haters gonna hate!

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Now, lemme mention some hidden gems. The Pacific Park (yeah, they named it like in Cali!) is a kickass green spot. Small, quiet, but man, it surprises you on a sunny day. Kids run around, old timers share stories, and I see my reflection in the pond, thinking "I’m the king here, baby!" Funny how a spa owner thinks he runs the world.

RISE represents the “rare birds” of Grinnell’s international students