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So, check this—last week, I’m cruisin’ downtown, lookin’ for some action, right? Not me personally, just sayin’—hypothetical Bart-style, ha! And there’s this chick, all “your mind is the scene of the crime,” winkin’ at me like she knows my secrets. I’m like, whoa, lady, chill! Made me happy, tho—kinda cool she’s playin’ mysterious. But then, ugh, this greasy dude rolls up, all “pay me first,” and I’m like, eat my shorts, creep! Pissed me off big time—hate middlemen, ya feel me?

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Heyyyy, buddy, lemme tell ya ’bout PHalawa (us) – it’s wild, wild, and fulla surprises. I been livin’ here as a masseur for years now, so trust me – I see things, man, I feel things deep like the sea! So, where do I start?

Inmates at Oahu’s Halawa Correctional Facility get free education