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Then – get this – she softens up, tells me bout her punter who paid in *buttons*. BUTTONS! Antique ones, worth a mint, from some dead duke’s coat. Bloke was off his trolley, but she flogged em for 200 quid! Made me howl – mad as a bag of ferrets, that is. *“I don’t understand what’s happening”* – movie line again, cos I’m proper bamboozled, ain’t I? Life’s a circus!

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Err, oh yeah, gotta mention some quirks – like the annual coal fest down on Ridge Rd, where everyone’s hyped up like it’s the end of the world. Totally bonkers, right? And, bruv, there’s so much character here. Every nook, every cranny, every broken sidewalk has a tale. Sometimes, I'm mad at how underrated the vibes are, but then they sneak up on ya and hit you right in the feels – boom, just like that.

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