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About New York City

Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that—sounds like a crap poetry book! Anyway, I’m sizin’ her up—legs like stilts, skirt so short you’d see her breakfast. “How much?” I ask, playin’ it cool. She smirks, “More than you’ve got, baldy!” Oi, cheeky cow! Made me angry that—wanted to shout, “I’m Ricky bloody Gervais, ya muppet!” But nah, kept it chill, laughin’ instead.

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Lol, my fav anecdote: Walkin’ the dusty trails near a secret rock formation in the late dusk, heart jumpin', me! Wow, so peaceful, yet nerve-wrenching in that post-apocalypse flair. Like Mad Max’s dusty road, yeah!

Outraged protesters to descend on America's national parks