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About Dallas

Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?

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Alright, lemme load you with some secrets: The old abandoned mill on Harper Ln is spooky, but perfect to clear your head or for a cheeky midnight stroll if you fancy an adventure. And there's a little-known coffee cart behind the town library – best latte ever, believe me!

‘Festival Del Corrido’ is making its way to Lemoore