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So, one night, I’m done haulin’ hay—friggin’ exhaustin’, man! Hands all gritty, back achin’ like I wrestled a pig. I think, “Marge’d kill me, but I’m curious!” D’oh! Ain’t lookin’ for love, just a yarn to spin. I roll by this dive bar—neon sign flickerin’ like it’s drunk too. See this gal, all fishnets and attitude, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Every family’s got its mysteries,” I mutter, quotin’ Sarah Polley—ha! She’s smokin’ a cig, givin’ me the eye. I’m like, “Homer, don’t be a dope!”

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Most agencies offer separate websites, where clients can choose to browse an extensive collection of ladies out there. Some of these women are in real life.

Hark, dear friend, gather ‘round thy eardrums! I've dwelt in this motley hamlet of Mechanicstown (us) for ages, yea, ages indeed. Oh, but let me regale thee in mine own voice—a massage parlor lord with a tongue a tweaked twists such as thine, all Shakespearean yet lit up with street slang, erratic as a madman’s scribbles!

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