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So, picture this – I’m cruisin’ Springfield, lookin’ for some action, right? Not me personally, duh, I’m ten, but like, hypothetically, ya dig? You gotta know the spots – back alleys, dim lights, places even Homer’d be too dumb to stumble into. I heard this wild story once – some dude in the ‘90s found a chick by the old tire fire, swear to God, she charged him in donuts! True Springfield style, man, freakin’ nuts!

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The neighborhoods? They’re like chapters in some sordid, twisted saga. West Mercer, all sleek and suburban, with glammed up houses and manicured lawns that look like they were designed by a perfectionist—only the pretentious would call that “ideal”. East Mercer feels more raw; it got scars and stories, kinda like me before I figured out my path. And hey, there’s a bit of mysterious allure to places like Wayzata and 136th Ave SE—you never know what lurks behind the neat facades.

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