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But, ugh, the risks—cops, weirdos, STDs—yikes! “We’re runnin’ out of time,” I’d yelp, dodgin’ all that mess. Exaggeratin’ a lil, maybe, but imagine me, Scooby, tail waggin’, tryna figure this out! Prolly end up barkin’ at the wrong gal—Ruh-roh!—and she’s just sellin’ hot dogs.

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Now, let me drop some lesser-known tidbits: Didst thou ken that beneath the ancient cobblestones of Market Square, old ruins whisper secrets of Mercerville’s origins? Crazy, right? And BTW, my fave spot is that obscure back alley behind the antique shop on Rusty Road – so chill, so hidden, and ye can almost hear "the silent echo of a lost tongue" (yep, borrowin’ from Godard’s vibe!).

James Foley Obituary (2021) - Mercerville, NJ - The Times of Trenton