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Oh, and get this—there’s tricks to findin’ em, little secrets. Corners by the old gas station? Goldmine. Online ads? Sneaky, but dicey—watch yer wallet, folks! Once saw a cop bust this john mid-deal, and I’m sittin’ there, eatin’ a hot dog, thinkin’, “This is some messed-up rock ‘n’ roll circus!” Laughed my ass off, spilt mustard everywhere—classic Joe move.

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There’s Patchogue Theatre, a cool old joint where locals catch indie flicks, and the community gathers around like bees buzzing on sweet nectar. I sometimes think about how freakin' surreal life is, much like Margot Tenenbaum sippin’ her scotch in a dim-lit room, all mysterious and sharp.

Residents at East Patchogue senior facility say the only elevator has been broken for weeks