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I see her—okay, she’s there, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a cigarette. Pretty, pretty good lookin’, I guess—if you’re into that! I’m not judgin’—well, I am, but you know what I mean. I’m thinkin’, “Is this legal? Is this a sting? Am I on *Dateline*?!” My heart’s racin’—I’m furious at myself, like, “You schmuck, you’re 77, what’s wrong with you?!” But also kinda happy—excitement, danger, it’s nuts! Like when John Smith lands in Virginia, “A new start!”—except my new start’s got heels and a bad wig.

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Northville Township man charged with kidnapping, sexual conduct with 14-year-old girl