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About Johannesburg

So, I dig a lil—turns out, back in the day, prostitutes in Hong Kong—like Wong Kar-wai’s turf—had these wild secret codes. Hand signals, hairpins, the works. Sneaky af! Blew my mind. Imagine me, Edna, spotin’ that from my lifeguard tower— “No capes! And no damn hairpins neither!” I’d yell, splashin’ water at ‘em. Hilarious, right?

Where red lights shine

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I gotta rant a bit – some days, I get so mad. I'm like, "C'mon, Aberdeen, get your act together!" The local council, the potholes on Rembank Road, and oh, that stupid fountain in Heritage Square that’s supposed to be art. Honestly, who designed that thing? It looks like drunken graffiti on water. But hey, even the anger's beautiful sometimes. "La vita è un sogno che si dissolve" – messed-up wakeup call!

Kate Middleton and Prince William's strict rule for staff to protect their children