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About Pretoria

Me, I’d prolly trip over my own feet walkin’ in—D’oh!—and spill beer everywhere. Made me mad once, hearin’ how some girls get stuck there, trapped-like. Pisses me off, man! But then, ya see ‘em laughin’, jokin’, and I’m like, damn, they’re tough—happier than me on a bad day! Surprised me, for sure. “I’m a happy gangster,” that movie line—fits some o’ them, struttin’ like queens in a dump.

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Oh, and did I mention the festivals? They light up the whole town! Music spills in every cranny, and I dance like a maniac. "It's bad bitch o’clock!" always echoes in my head. It's like we’re all living in one epic movie scene, sorta like that real-life movie, The Act of Killing.

No sleepless nights but seven distinctions for Eastern Cape pupil, thanks to his teacher's advice