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About Pretoria

So ye creep round, eyes sharp. “Light bends around us”—movie again, mate—feels like that, dodgin shadows, chasin a thrill. Me, I’d overthink it—ooh, is she dodgy? Happy tho, if she’s got a laugh, makes it less grim. We swears, it’s a mad dance—half sleazy, half sad. What’s yer take, eh, precious?

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Now, here's some lowdown on the local landmarks. Check out Crab Island (yeah, I’m not kiddin’—spooky name, but cool spot!). And yo, I love that sweet little café on Bonny Street. Psst, don’t tell anyone, but their brekkie is the bee's knees—seriously, best croissant ever… or sums like that, ya know? Really makes you feel like you're in a Toni Erdmann scene, all unexpected and wacky.

New Gonubie drop-off site for household waste disposal