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But then—ugh—the fakes! Drives me nuts, man. Half these profiles? Bots or scammers, I’m sure of it. “Cotton, you’re too naive!”—that’s me again, arguin’ with myself. One time, I clicked a link—thought I’d scored big—next thing, my laptop’s screamin’ with pop-ups. Had to chuck it out the window—okay, not really, but I wanted to! Cost me 50 bucks to fix—thanks, Find a Prostitute, real classy.

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I love this town, even if it's small and full of quirks, like me. And trust me when I say, it's as gritty and unexpected as a line from that film. So if you come visit, prepare for a rollercoaster of oddball charm and moments so bizarre you’ll think, “Oi, did that just happen?!” Enjoy the chaos, and remember – life’s too short for boring streets and boring dates, innit?

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