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About Johannesburg

Favorite part? The tease—slow, steamy build-up. Gets ya tingly, right? But surprises hit hard—some places sneak in “extras,” and I’m like, “Whoa, slow down, slick!” Ain’t judgin’, just sayin’—keep it real! Oh, and the music— cheesy sax or whale sounds? Kills me every time—sarcasm overload! “This is the Zodiac speaking,” blarin’ in my head while I’m dodgin’ bad vibes.

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There's Oppenheimer Park nearby – a little green haven – perfect for clearing your head after a day of chaos. Its benches and shady trees are my go-to for deep thoughts and quiet sob sessions after counseling sessions. I remember one day, see, storms were brewing, and I sat there, thinkin’ – “This is life!” (Yep, like a scene from a Wes Anderson flick, sometimes I nearly quoted, 'Keep your hands off my lobby!') Unforgettable, right?

Knifeman killed in broad daylight