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Once, I saw this dude hagglin’ with a hooker – he’s yellin’, she’s yellin’, I’m thinkin’, “What a mess!” Reminded me of Freddie losin’ his cool. “I am a writer, a doctor, a nuclear physicist!” – yeah, right, buddy, you’re just a john with a fiver! Made me laugh so hard I nearly dropped my guitar. But real talk – it’s risky biz. Did ya know some gals in the 1800s carried tiny pistols? Called ‘em “muff guns” – hid ‘em in their coats! Surprised the heck outta me – tough ladies, man!

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I luv wanderin’ round the Mitchell Park, near the beach. Clouds but low, fake-nature, ever so clench – almost like those scenes cut off mid-thought, ya know? So many secrets hide in the shadows there. I got a favourite bench under a dodgy tree. I sit there, thinkin’, "This is our reality, pure haywire," proper poetic-like. I always say, "You and me, we’re the masters now."

Cape Town Woman Describes Her Terrifying Collision With Supposedly Drunk SA Navy Member In Simon’s Town