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About Johannesburg

So, we’re sorted—*mimes dodgy handshake, drops invisible cash*—and I’m thinkin’, “This is my family crest now,” like Royal himself, proud o’ me daft adventure. Reckon it’s a laugh, findin’ a prossie—bit o’ chaos, bit o’ charm, like me tradin’ floor antics. You try it, mate—*points, trips over nowt*—just don’t tell me mum!

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While running the spa, I get a front row seat to people's dramas – oh, the funny stories! Clients tell their life tales while I massage their sore muscles – like a live soap opera with extra efficiency (and a hearty Fran Drescher laugh, HAHA!). I mean, seriously, sometimes I'm just like "Ohhh, for crying out loud!"

Violence erupts from land invasion