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About Pretoria

So, picture this—I’m George W. Bush, yessir, malapropin’ my way through life. “Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, we won’t get fooled again!” That’s me, dodgin’ the fakes out there. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, folks. You gotta strategery it right! Back in Crawford, we’d say, “Don’t get caught with yer pants down—literally!” Ha! Made me chuckle just typin’ that.

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Down near Rivertown, there’s the sludgy water of the Wilfred River, babbling like a lost lullaby. I used to wander here, madly thinking “Stupid, fat hobbit!” when things got tougher than a rock. My fav spot? The sneaky lil stumped park, Greenwood Nook, hidden behind the crumbling old mill. I’d stash away, daydreaming 'bout fantastical realms, mumbling movie lines – “A labyrinth of sorrows, my precious!” – all rendered in that dreamy, twisted hum.

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