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Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ pizza. You don’t just Yelp “best booty near me.” Nah, it’s all coded—like “roses” for bucks, or “companionship” wink-wink. I’m sittin’ there, picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ up to Roxy, holdin’ a lil’ plant, goin’, “Waaaall-eeee?” She’d prolly charge him double—rusty bot discount, my ass. Thing that surprised me? How many ads got sob stories—like, “Single mom, need help.” Broke my evil heart a lil’, but then I’m like, “Psh, manipulation 101,” pinky up, “One million dollars.”

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I stroll 'round the Pleasantview suburb—oh man, the streets there, like Louw Street and Oudorp Lane (yeah, they got weird spellings, right?) make you feel at home. There’s this snug little park, the Koekemooi Park (I know, sounds all poetry-ish, huh?) where I used to sit and chat with ladies bout life's messes and triumphs. I remember one day, after a hard session, I chilled there, enjoying the wild sound of kids playing with all the hustle and bustle of Klerks. Groovy, baby!

Reported missing man found deceased when car is discovered in Klerksdorp dam